PITY F*CK is episode nine of YFMTS, in which Puff falls in love with DeeJay's cousin, Dee Jayne.
On 4 December 2021, a re-upload gets uploaded to the official YouTube channel. The original upload on the Animonster YouTube channel is still up.
The episode starts with Puff complaining that he doesn't have a date for Valentine's Day. Axel mentions that girls that look like guys hit on him all the time, although Puff says that he isn't into all that, but rather a romantic date with a nice girl. DeeJay mentions that his cousin, Dee Jayne, is in town, but she wouldn't be his type. Puff explains that "not his type" is exactly what he's looking for, and that he should try to hook him up with her. DeeJay explains that his cousin isn't easy to please, and wishes Puff luck when he says that he'll manage to make it work.
It fades to a shot of a restaurant named La Merde, where Puff is walking, holding a bouquet of roses. He spots Dee Jayne and sits down opposite her, commenting on how the resemblance between her and her cousin is disturbing. He hands Dee Jayne the roses, complimenting her subtly in the process, although she explains that she's allergic to flowers and that he shouldn't have. He throws the flowers away, saying that he should've given her chocolates instead, which she takes as him calling her fat. Puff tries to save the conversation by saying she isn't fat, which she also takes offense to. Just as Dee Jayne gets up from her chair, ready to leave, when he tells her not to leave. What leads from that is a short collection of the two insulting each other, which eventually ends in the two kissing and Dee Jayne telling him to go to her place immediately.
What follows is a short scene of Puff standing by Dee Jayne's bed in his underwear, shivering from nervousness. Dee Jayne, holding a whip, appears in the doorframe and rushes onto him. He begins moaning from pleasure as the camera slowly pans to a shot of industrial-sized lubricant and lotion on her bedside table.
The next day, Puff is sat opposite DeeJay, staring at him. DeeJay comments on how the way he's staring at him is creepy, as the shorter of the two explains that he can't hide his love for Dee Jayne. DeeJay says that he should just get real and realize that she'll never truly be with him, just as he gets a call from her. Axel walks over and comments on how he got to "live out [his] dream of boning DeeJay," to which Puff says he's just jealous. DeeJay gets off the phone with his cousin, who wanted Puff to lose her number and look into penis enlargement surgery. He tries to explain that it was just small by comparison, although neither Axel nor DeeJay truly believe him. Axel comments on how he'd have sex with his cousin because he doesn't believe in discrimination, just before the screen fades to black with the word "later" on it.
Puff is looking out the window, upset that he had found unrequited love, and DeeJay comforts Puff by saying he'll find someone someday, which is appreciated by him. DeeJay then asks him to get his hand off his ass, which he says he'll do in a minute or so.
- The restaurant's name, when translated from French, literally means "the shit."
- Dee Jayne later makes a cameo in ISO TANK (YFMTS), along with the girl from DOUCHEBAGGED (YFMTS) and a girl from SHE LOOKS LIKE SEX (REMIX) Feat. Mike Posner.
- The fact that Puff says he was alone on Valentine's Day suggests that he and Tig only started dating in the final episode, although their relationship was very short-lived.
- Benatar is completely absent from this episode.